Two Surprising Benefits of Marriage Counselling
Posted on: 21 April 2021
Here are two surprising benefits of marriage counselling.
You'll begin to remember the things you love about your spouse (and vice versa)
Marriage counselling can be tough, as you may need to open up old emotional wounds and discuss things that you and your spouse find upsetting. However, one surprising benefit of marriage counselling is that you can both slowly end up remembering all of the things that you love about the other person.
Most marriage counsellors will try to balance out the necessary but painful discussions with conversations during which the two of you talk about happy memories of your best relationship moments and about the things that attracted you to each other.
This can be both enjoyable and useful, as when you're in the midst of a relationship crisis and are feeling hurt or resentful, it's easy to forget about the many great qualities your spouse has (and vice versa) and to dwell solely on your problems. Remembering that, for example, even though your spouse always forgets to get presents or plan events for your birthdays and anniversaries, they are hugely supportive when you have work problems and are always making you laugh, could make getting over the crisis you're currently having a bit easier and could help you to start appreciating their good qualities again.
You might notice that you feel far less resentment towards your partner
It's common for couples to complain about feeling resentful towards their spouses when they first go to marriage counselling. This is a very difficult but common reaction when a person feels as though they are taking on more of the burdens associated with their relationship than their spouse is. You might, for example, feel as if you're the one who always has to do the mundane but essential tasks around the home because your spouse is too busy having fun with their hobby to remember to do these things.
One of the big benefits of marriage counselling is that you often find that this resentment slowly melts away. This is because the counsellor will not only validate your feelings but can also clarify why your spouse behaves in a way that leads to you feeling this emotion. For instance, your spouse might feel like they do these mundane tasks incorrectly and they hate when you get upset with them about making these mistakes, and so they avoid doing these chores.
After this part of the discussion, the counsellor will suggest ways to handle this problem so you don't continue to feel resentful. They might, for example, recommend that your spouse sticks to a chore schedule and they may advise you on how to react in a calmer and more productive manner if your spouse messes up some of these chores.
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